I wanted to record a moment that I had with my sweet Ivy this morning. She is 7. We were working on her homework. It is Spring Break, but since we leave for a cruise in two days, the school gave us work to do so we don't fall behind when we go back. Anywho, Ivy and I got to talking about class time and she told me that many days after lunch at school, she cries. I asked her why, and she was very shy to tell me. Apparently there are some kids who sit at the"friends table" at school, and when she tries to sit by them to have lunch, they say things like, "There's no room." If Ivy goes to sit somewhere else, sometime they will yell, "Ivy is weird." It hurt my heart to think about that happening to her. It makes me feel sad to think that things like that are being said to her and she has to navigate her sadness and loneliness all by herself. It brought me back to my days in elementary. There were MANY days when I myself felt lonely and weird. I can remember the moments when kids were mean to me. I can remember many recesses spent alone. I also remember that I survived those days and learned that my weirdness was actually a very GOOD thing and has been a great asset in my adult life. I find other WEIRD friends and we have a great time together. So I used that lesson that I learned and shared it with Ivy. I told her how those kids calling her names means that they are uncomfortable with who they are and that nothing that they said was true. If she still felt "weird" then that was a good thing! Next time they tell her that, she needs to yell, "Thank you!' to them. I went through and listed all of the weird stuff that I do as an adult that makes me a special person and makes me who I am. The times I sing really LOUD in public, the times I do the happy dance in my pink dress, the times I try to be funny, but I'm not. At one point, Ivy started laughing and then she reached out to me to give me such a big long warm hug. We hugged for a while and she said, "I love you so much Mom!" I said, "I love you too." Then I asked her how she felt. She said she couldn't put into words the way she was feeling but that she felt happy! I was so relieved. I always want her to know she can talk to me and that I might have some small way to help her through life's craziness and hardships. I worried that as she got older and problems got more complicated, I wouldn't have the right words to say. Today, I did. Heavenly Father blessed me with that today. Now we are going to make her a T shirt that embraces the "weird" and has some kind of unicorn on it! Being her mom is the BEST!
I love my children so fiercely. They are everything to me. Their joys are my joys and their struggles are my struggles. I’ve found lately that the same goes for them - Ethan (9) and Ivy (6). If one of them is sad or sick, the other feels sad and worries and prays for the other till they are better. Ethan’s allergies have made it so that he coughs a lot at different seasons of the year and has other symptoms. This makes Ivy feel so sad for him, and so in all of her prayers she asks that Ethan get better soon! The love that is there is so sweet.
Somehow, lately, Ivy has been struggling with sadness. I wish I knew where it came from or what is causing it, but she struggles with self-confidence and knowing that she is loved. Night time is the hardest for her, because she is extra tired, so the sadness is magnified. Each night, Daddy and I struggle to find ways to help her stay positive and upbeat so she can fall asleep with a happy heart. Most nights, however, the smallest things trigger her little tears and emotional break downs. This drapes a cloak of sadness over the house, and Ethan is there (as are Mommy and Daddy) watching, wanting to console her in one way or another, but not sure how.
Last night he found a way. After a rather tear filled and stressed out Ivy ran into her room because of her sadness, Ethan follower her in. I followed and just stood outside the door. What happened next was something I could only dream for in my mother heart. Ethan encircled Ivy with loving arms and just cried with her. For a moment, they were suspended in silent tears. Then, he began whispering words of encouragement and unending love. “Ivy, I love you. You are such a good girl. You always will be. You do such wonderful things. I love you. You will always be my sister, I will always be your brother. I will always be here for you.”
As the moments passed, I could see Ivy grasping more tightly to this brother who was there offering nothing but tender acceptance and love. He taught me by his actions, as he does so often, of Christ’s love. That is how He would love. I’m richly blessed with these two angel children.
I never want to forget the beauty we had right in our tiny backyard there in socal. I never really had to do anything to keep them alive either. We barely watered! They just grew and were lovely. I would cut a few and put them on the table so we could admire them indoors.
Oh how I love how these two LOVE each other. There is a bond between them that is tangible and wonderful. Of course, they fight and have their issues, but they always come back to this! It's fun to watch them grow over the years and still see this goofy relationship!